The struggles and the beauty of life....

The clock is ticking, It's 4am now.. And I'm exhausted, But I'm still here facing the screen and thinking. But what is it that I'm thinking now? In my mind I am in a different place, the feeling as if I don’t belong here. I go through the motions of everyday life, tryin to figure out what life has to offer, and tryin hard to fix a broken heart. Nonetheless the pain from the past continues to haunt me inside. Sometimes I struggle to understand them. It is always raining in my heart, drowning my soul, flowing all around, I cry inside without a sound sometimes in the night when I think of it. I never forgive myself and the life I had. It has been difficult. Though I know life is hard and painful sometimes, I always believe that there will always be joy and happiness somewhere. And even though those loved ones have disappoint me time and time again in the past, I know deep down they still care. I keep going back and forth with my emotions, trying to find a place of devotion. The weight of the world I face now- the problems, the knowledge I learn in school, the life stages, the death issue n so forth, all these that I've gone through saved me from drowning. I used to tell myself that I should go some place far. A place where my love, hope, strength and dreams would not drain. A place that I could be happy instead of misery. But as I realize, this is what that I've been talkin about... A thing that is called reality, The reality of life. Something which I have now- With such wonderful people around me. The people that I've met n known- A few good ones and few good moments. Nevermind about the past, I know I'll solve them slowly day by day. Life goes on for sure, and I believe someday I'll help those who have suffered the same fate as I did. And I'll always continue to dream of this phenomena called life ahead of me, at the same time hoping that someone can give me what I desire, a person to love me that touches my heart and stay with me for a long period of time, If not, a lifetime.

Life can be struggling at some point but the ending will always be in a beautiful fashion.