It happened so quickly like a blink of an eye and suddenly my belief,my hope,my dream,my future and my life are fading away. In what should I described this year as a 'disastrious' one. How could this happen? Can it be avoided in the first place? What should I do now? Everything seem to be so mess up, but I still remain compose. There's no need to press the emergency button...not just yet. I just keep telling my inner-self to be cool, calm n collected n take things one at a time. For the time being, it seems liks everything is going for the wrong direction. The school issue is a major headache, Im screwed just like the rest of the students. Im desperate seekin for answer as much as them. Where should I go now? The school is on a verge of facing bankruptcy, the teachers n staff have walked out n the saga is about to begin. And I'm prepared to lose my 5k of money which I paid with no transcript or cert in the end. And since of late, I feel that my time with my family are coming to an end despite their presence. When I look at the bigger picture, I realise that Im stuck between two families. My mother whom left me when I was 12 has a family, My dad got married couple of years back n now they have 2 wonderful gifted children. Both families seem to have their own of life. And me, see no part in any of them. But nonetheless I will still regard them as my parents. Once again the gal of my dream whom I've placed her in my heart for almost 4 years now doesnt seem to bother about me anymore, she simply can't be bother even with a simple conversation. Looks like there's no room for friendship either. Despite everything I've done, tryin so hard,so bad to gain somethin from it,this was the outcome. After 4 years, my loyalty n commitment that Ive done has come to a waste. But its alrite, She made that choice. And there isnt much I could do but let it go. There isnt a need to feel any hatred or anger towards her. Just dejected, despair n depressed. I start to wonder about myself, If Im really good enough for a friend? Am I worth being your friend? Is there any way that I could do something to make anyone feel better? Or is it just that my attitude suck. If Im not worthwhile then tell me or maybe we should go our separate ways. Since the death of my grandma, there have been lot of news abt death going to my ear. I feel sorry whenever I hear those news. My condolences are sent to my fellow frens who lost their love ones during the past couple of weeks. Is this the sight of things to come for me in the future? More bad news than good? I shall leave that to fate. Only God knows.